Wrong Number?

Well, it's been several days now since the PFY replaced the choking hazard in Blake's office, which the PFY claimed was a perfectly installed network cable. Blake of course is the senior member of our most prestigious client, Blake and Edwards. Talking of Edwards, I received an email from young Dr. jur. Lic. phil. D. Edwards a few days ago.

Seems the two lawyers were so impressed with my planning and the PFY's implementation of their internal Internet connection, that they now wanted us to provide cell phones to all staff. And each staff was to receive instructions on how to use the main features, such as the mailbox and the telephone book. Now the chosen cell phone model also doubles as a fixed net phone. As long as a staff member is in the office or at home, the cell phone used the house phone line. That should save the company quite some money on cell phone bills.

Again, I was too busy to personally oversee the instruction to Blake and Edwards' staff, so the PFY got the job. After I had organized the cell phones and the made sure the new telephone system was suitably installed by the local telecom, of course.

"Ok, my dear PFY, you have all the cell phones, the manuals, and the names of the staff members?"

"Yeah boss. I even had Blake's assistant send schedule invites to everybody for twenty-five minutes. Gives me a five minute break between each."

"Clever," said I, slightly impressed that the PFY would have such a good idea.

So off went the PFY for a two day teaching assignment. In the evening of the second day I gave Blake a quick call, and he confirmed that everyone had received their cell phone and also knew how to use the key features. Sounded good.

But nooooooo!

My cell phone rang, and I took it. Before I could say anything a hushed voice started talking.

"Hi. You got the dough, I got the stuff. Same place, same time. And don't listen to those other guys, my stuff is pure. No contaminations, no baking soda cut into it, nothing. Oh, and the password is REDEYE." said the voice and then hung up.

Hwell! Looks like someone was trying to sell me illegal drugs. And that to me, who doesn't even take an aspirin for a headache.

Twenty minutes later my cell phone rang again.

"Oh, so you are taking the phone finally! You are so going to get it when I see you! You know what time it is? Two-thirty! I waited at the Choclit Shop for a whole hour, and you never showed up! We are so finished! So there!" said a screechy female's voice before hanging up with an almost audible bang.

Hmm. Now who could that have been? I checked my calender... No, except for the normal team meeting this morning, I didn't have any other appointment all day. Oh well, probably a wrong number, meant for some forgetful sap.

Ten minutes later, the cell phone again...

"Oh hello sweety! It your Aunti Sarah! Hapy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happpyyy Birthday tooooo youuuu! I hope you got my present... Oh, look at the time! I pro missed your cousin Geraldine that I'd pick her up in five minutes! Well, talk to you later sweety!" and Aunti hung up. Another wrong number!

Five minutes later. Yes. My cell rang again.

"Hi! Do you have life insurance?" said a quick speaker.

"No."

"Well, then I'm sure I can interest you in the policy I'm representing! A full year of life insurance costs less than your total electricity bill! We have several easy payment options for any wallet! We also have extras that enhance your life insurance exper..." at which point I snapped out of my trance and hung up.

This went on all afternoon, call after call. I finally ripped the battery out of my cell phone. Something was fishy. Why was I getting all those calls? A drug dealer selling me dope I didn't want or need. A stood-up girlfriend that I never met. An aunty congratulating me for a birthday that I've had half an year ago. An insurance salesperson trying to sell me a policy I can't use. And diverse other calls that had no connection to me that I knew of.

Hmmm....

A suspicion played around in my mind for a few moments before surfacing like a killer whale going after a taste of a National Geographic photographer in a dinghy. I stalked down the corridor to the coffee room, where we had recently installed our seventh microwave. With this one you had to type a code into the keypad before it opened. The PFY was standing in front of it and jumped guiltily back from our newest acquisition. He was the only one I hadn't given the code to.

"PFY, firstly, you won't crack the microwave's code, and don't bother to watch someone enter it, I change the code randomly during the week. Secondly, have you been giving out my cell phone number again?"

"No sir! Last time you made me pay the fees of your number change!"

"And everyone, even your dear mother, thought that a mild repercussion for you giving out my number as the help desk's. So why in the name of Graham Bell am I receiving so many unrelated calls today?"

"You are? Oh... Ah.. hehe!"

"You are turning nicely pink, but that still doesn't answer my question."

"Well, you see, I was teaching how to use the mailbox, and Edwards wondered if there was a way to have the cell phone redirect calls if no-one answered. So as an example, I used your cell phone number, explaining how to do it to everyone. Kind of would have thought that they would change it..."

"Apparently not, my dear PFY. And to show you I have no hard feeling, I am going to transfer my cell phone number to you, and I'll get myself a new one."

Three days later I found the PFY in the workshop smashing the daylight out of his cell phone with a four pound hammer. Seems he got so many phone calls even at night that he just couldn't sleep.

Ah, justice had been done!